Chapter 7: Marriage and Contract
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourself, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect". (XXX : 21). Marriage in Islam is practically a civil contract. In its simplicity it is as good as one performed before a modern Registrar of Marriages. On account of the Purdah system prevailing among Muslims, the bride does not take an active part in the ceremony herself. She is represented there by a member of her family, in variably her father or her brother, or in their absence by some close relative who gives her away. He is her "VAKIL". Before the marriage ceremony is performed the Kazi, who is the Registrar, sends two reliable persons to the bride to enquire whether she agrees to the marriage. These two persons are generally from among those with whom the bride has no purdah. On their reporting to the Kazi that the bride agrees to be married to the person named, he performs the "NIKAH" or marriage ceremony. In this ceremony the bride's representative offers her to the bridegroom as his wife, the bridegroom agrees to take her as such and to pay the dower, otherwise called "MEHR". This dower or settlement is in addition to a wife's share in her husband's property, if she happens to survive him. The Kazi then signs the register and his signature is attested by at least two reliable men from among those who have witnessed the ceremony. A tray of sugar is then sent round, which everybody present takes a pinch. A short prayer by the Kazi and the whole thing; i.e. the ceremony art of it, is over. The principle part of the ceremony is the consent of the bride. If she is forced by her parents or guardian to marry a man whom she does not like, she has this opportunity of repudiating him. The Kazi dare not perform the marriage ceremony against her will. If he does it, it is at his own risk; the woman can refuse to go and live with the man as his wife, and the marriage is null and void. Even if she finds, after freely consenting to marry, that the marriage is not to her advantage, she is legally entitled to repudiate it, but she should do that BEFORE THE MARRIAGE IS CONSUMATED. Marriage once consumated is dissolved by death or a legal divorce. Consumation is likely to be delayed if at the time of marriage the domiciles of the person marrying are different, the bride may yet be a minor or may, at the time, either be unwell or temporarily unfit for it. During the minority of the girl, consent on her behalf is given either by her father or her guardian, and if she, on coming to age, finds that the marriage is not to her advantage, she can repudiate it and refuse to go and live with the man to whom she has been married, as his wife. In the case of a Muslim woman there is no compulsion in marriage.
To whom is a Muslim allowed to marry or not to marry? Answer: One of the principle conditions of marriage in Islam is that no Muslim should marry an idolatress and no Muslim woman should marry an idolater, unless the idolater or the idolatress, as the case may be, embraces Islam. (11 : 221). The creed of Islam is "no God but God" and the direct result of such prohibitated marriages would be to introduce adultery in Islam, which it had so strenuously striven to abolish. Otherwise Islam is quite liberal in this respect, as it permits Muslims to marry "virtuous woman of those who have received the scriptures before them; i.e. the Jews and the Christians, provided they give these women their dowers and live chastely with them without fornication and without taking concubines" (V : 6). Marriage between the faithful and those given to whose down is also prohibited. "Let no man guilty of Adultery or fornication marry any but or woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever; Nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman. To the believers such a thing is forbidden". (XXIV :3). "Woman impure for men impure, and men impure for woman impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men purity for women of purity". (XXIV : 26).
"Women to whom one is forbidden to marry" who are the women one is bidden to marry and are these any others than those mentioned in the Qur'an ? Answer: Verse 23 in Surah 4, which is entitled "women" or "An-Nisa" enumerates the women we are not allowed to marry. It states: "Prohibited to you (for marriage) are:- your mothers, daughters, sisters, father's sisters, mother's sisters, brother's daughters, sister's daughters, foster-mothers (who gave you suck) foster-sister, your wives mothers, your step daughter under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in; No prohibition if ye have not gone in; (those who have been) wives of your sons, proceeding from your loins, and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except fro what is part, for god is oft-forgiven, most merciful;" (IV : 23). "Also (prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right-hand possesses. Thus hath god ordained (prohibited) against you; Except for these all others are lawful". (IV : 24). In addition to these, the preceding verse to this one (IV:22) states that it is absolutely forbidden for a Muslim to marry a woman who has been at any time a wife of his own father. These are the women the Qur'an states that we are not allowed to marry. The Prophet (PBUH) has also taught us that we cannot have one woman and her aunt, paternal or maternal, as our wives at the same time. The Quranic verses quoted above mentions specifically the women by whom a person was breast-fed in his childhood. It refers to her as his "Milk-mother". The verse also mentions that women daughters as being "milk- sisters". The Prophet (PBUH) has expanded this prohibition to include all women who are through breast feeding. in the same position to one as those forbidden to him through birth on the basis that the woman who has breast-fed him is his mother. In other words just as a man cannot marry his maternal aunt, who is the sister of his own mother, he cannot marry the sister of the woman who breast-fed him when he was a little boy less than two years of age. Nor is he allowed to marry the sister of that women's husband because she is to him in the same position as his own parental aunt.
Can a Muslim also marry a woman of any other faith ? It is understood also that a Muslim is allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish woman. You are undoubtedly aware of the Quranic verse which states that no Muslim, man or woman, may marry a polytheist. Now that Christians claim that Jesus was the son of God and the Jews, some of them at least, make similar claims about EZRA, do they not become polytheists whom we are not allowed to marry? Answer: The first part of the question makes the error of giving a Muslim man permission to marry a woman of ANY other faith. This is not true. The only inter-faith marriages, allowed in Islam are those in which a Muslim man marries a Christian or Jewish woman. He is not allowed to marry a woman of any other faith or belief. A Muslim woman, on the other hand must marry a Muslim. Even Christians or Jews are not allowed for her to marry. The second part of the question is whether we can still consider Christian and Jews to be recipients of divine revelations when they have deviated from these revelations so far that they ascribe divinity to Jesus Christ or another. In answering this point, we have to remind ourselves that what Allah has made lawful, no one can make unlawful. Similarly, what He has forbidden, no one can make lawful. It is only when a divine commandment or ruling is made conditional or something on particular that the ruling may be changed on the basis of the condition being met or not. When Allah has allowed us to marry Christian and Jewish women, He did not make that conditional on their having any particular concept other than believing in Christianity or Judaism. In other words, it is sufficient that a woman professes to believe in Christianity or Judaism in order for a Muslim man to be able to marry her. Moreover, at the time the Qur'an was revealed, Christians and Jews interpreted their religion in the same way as they interpret them today. In other words, their religion did not go through any real change in their basic concepts. We find Quranic references to Christians claiming that Jesus was the son of God, moreover, the Qur'an refers to Christians ascribing divinity to Mary, mother of Jesus. But inspite of all that, Islam has made lawful for Muslims, to marry Christians and Jewish women. That permission remain valid, because there has been no subsequent legislation to conceal it. It is Allah who has given us this legislation and He knows what He has legislated for us. What we can say, however, on this point is that being aware of all the distortion that has crept into the ideological concepts of both Christianity and Judaism. Allah considers that both of these two divine religions still retain a measure of the belief in the oneness of Allah which is enough to justify this permission of inter-marriage with them on a limited scale. We accept this legislation as it is and do not try to argue against it with the aim of cancelling it. For no man is allowed to conceal legislation made by Allah. Having said that, I must repeat what I have frequently said in the past that although marriage with a Christian or a Jewish woman is allowed to a Muslim man, we should not consider it except in cases where no practical alternative offers itself. We have to think of Muslim woman who will be left unmarried when many of us marry women of other faiths. We have also to remember that Islamic legislation is suitable for Islamic society. This has considerable bearing on the case in question. When a Muslim man marries a Christian or Jewish women and takes her to live in an Islamic society, she is bound to be influenced by the society around her. Her own influence on her husband and his approach to his faith will be limited. The situation is entirely different when a Muslim man lives in a non-Islamic society and marries a woman who does not believe in Islam. There, the pressure of society will be great on him. He may find himself having to give in on points of great importance in his faith. Example abound now a-days when Muslims have emigrated to European and American countries, where they are in a minority, without giving due thought to the permission given by Allah for Muslim men to marry Jewish and Christian woman, and without trying to understand the reasons for this permission, and the likely effects of inter-faith marriages on them, they rush into marrying women in the countries they have settled in. Soon they discover that they have made a grave mistake. Living in her own society, close to her own relatives the woman in question does not feel any need to modify her habits and practices. She feels that it is up to her husband to try to adopt to the norms of her society. In doing so, he finds that he has to sacrifice some values which are basic to his faith. Once he starts, the road ahead is very slippery. He will soon discover that he has moved away from the basics of his Islamic faith.
What is the significance of MEHR or Dowry, is it compulsory in Islam ? Answer: Mehr or Dowry is an amount of money, determined by agreement by the two parties to a marriage, and is payable by the bridegroom to the bride. Once it is paid, it becomes the property of the bride and she has the full power to do whatever she likes with it. If it is agreed upon but not paid, it remains an outstanding loan payable to the bride. There is no way bridegroom can evade payment. It is, however, possible to delay payment of the dowry, if the two parties agree to such a delay. In fact, the time of its payment is left to the two parties concerned. There are cases when the husband cannot meet all the expenses of the marriage before the marriage actually takes place. If the woman who is to be the future wife agrees, he may delay paying her the dowry for as long as they mutually agree. If it is delayed, it should not be considered to have been automatically forgone by the wife. The wife may, if she likes, payback her husband or she may forgo any amount of her dowry at any time before or after the marriage, provided, she does so out of her free will. It must not be the result of coercion or pressure of any sort. If pressure or force is applied, the husband may not take that money. If he does, he is answerable to Allah for it. The matter of dowry should not be taken lightly. It is necessary for the validity of the marriage. If the amount is not agreed upon before the marriage takes place, the wife may apply to the court at any time to fix her dowry. The court will normally fix an amount equal to that which is normally received by brides in her social class. When the court determines the amount, it becomes payable. This is the Islamic practice, what is practiced in other countries, which may differ than this Islamic practice, is an innovation, and is not derived from the religion of Islam, but from local and social considerations.
What is right age from the Islamic point of view, for a man to be married ? Is there an age limit for a marriage between a man and a woman ? Answer: There is no specific time when marriage becomes obligatory. The Prophet (PBUH) say; "Marriage is my Sunnah, i.e. recommended practice. He who turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me". This does not mean that a person who does not get married commits a sin. What is meant is that he abstains from something which the Prophet (PBUH) has strongly recommended to all his followers. There are several personal factors which affect the time, when a person gets married. Hence, being a practical religion, Islam does not compel its followers to marry at any particular age. Even if one is healthy and prosperous, he commits no sin if he does not get married. Some people do not feel the need to marry, and Islam does not impose on them a duty which they may find hard to fulfill. Let us say in short that the proper time for marriage is when one feels the need for it and is able to fulfill the duties and responsibilities attendant on being married. As to the second part; The most important point in marriage is that it should be done with mutual and free consent. Neither party should be forced in any way to accept to be married to the other. The age of either party is of little importance. The Prophet (PBUH) married Khadijah his first wife, when he was 25. Almost all reports suggests that she was 40 at the time of their marriage. Although that marriage took place before he become a Prophet (PBUH), nothing he said after his Prophethood suggests that the marriage was not proper in every respect. On the other hand, he married Aisha when he was 53. She was still a very young girl at that time. Although most reports suggest that she was 9 when she married the Prophet (PBUH), she was most probably a little older, but definitely less than 15. That great gap in age between them did not in any way detract from the validity of their marriage, or make it in any sense an unhappy one. The Prophet (PBUH) later married Hafsah. Umar her father, was about 12 years younger than the Prophet (PBUH). At the age of 60 the Prophet (PBUH) married Safiyah who was only 17. All these examples suggest that an age gap between two parties in a marriage is irrevelant in, as I have said earlier, that both parties should agree to the marriage without coercion.
"Marriage by compulsion". Can parents marry their daughter to anyone they choose, against their daughters will ? Is it necessary to obtain the consent (permission) of parents for marriage? Answer: If any parent compels his daughter to marry someone of their liking, the girl may apply for the nullification of the contract ONLY if the husband is not her equal from the social or religious point of view, or if the age group between them is such as to make him unsuitable for her as a husband. This is because her father is a woman's guardian who must be obeyed. If he marries her to a person who is suitable or her equal then the marriage stands. The fathers authority does not allow him to marry his daughter to someone who is unsuitable for her. If he does, then unsuitability is sufficient as a basis for her to apply for the nullification of the marriage. If she makes such an application, an Islamic court will grant it. In certain modern societies, this may seem to give the father unwarranted authority. We should not view all matters in a particular context. General rules apply to all situations. A particular situation may restrict any rule of a general nature. When we consider Islamic rules we must always bear in mind the type of society which Islam aims to create. In an Islamic society, a woman is normally looked after by her husband or her parents. She does not need to work for her living. Hence, if she seeks separation from her "suitable" husband because her father has not obtained her consent to the marriage when he made it, she may fall out with her father and there may be much friction in the family. This puts the woman concerned in a very precarious position. Thus, if a father marries his daughter to someone whom he finds suitable without seeking her consent the marriage is valid. However, A father is required to choose a good husband for his daughter. He must make sure that the man he chooses for her to marry will help her to be more obedient to Allah and will cherish and love her and treat her with kindness and care. A woman came to the Prophet (PBUH) complaining that her father had married her to a man without her consent. The Prophet (PBUH) ordered the nullification of her marriage. The woman said that being a dutiful daughter she was willing to accept what her father had done. She only wanted to make it known to all people, especially women, that they could not be treated as if they did not exist. Their consent should be sought first. This does not contradict what is said above, that, the marriage contracted by a girl's father is valid even if he does not have her consent first. It simply serves to emphasize that the girl should be consulted. If she is not, she may seek, and will be granted, the nullification of her marriage to which she had not consented.
Is woman allowed to make her own marriage contract without the consent of her parents ? Answer: The normal Islamic way of marriage is for a woman's father or guardian to act for her in making the marriage contract. Some schools of thought give the woman the right to make her own marriage contract by herself, provided that she marries someone who is deemed to be her equal. If her parents challenge the marriage, then it cannot go ahead. Similarly, if a relative of hers challenges the marriage on the basis of inequality and he can prove that, the court will consider the marriage nullified. So, the proper way for one is to try to persuade the woman's family of one's suitability as a son-in-law. By giving such importance to the opinion of the parents, Islam aims at building happy families. The ultimate object is to ensure that marital ties are viewed with respect and bring people and families closer together. When a person marries someone from a family of higher social standing, he may find himself in future years unable to bring happiness into his own family.
What is the proper procedure, from the Islamic point of view, for selecting one's life partner ? Answer: The Prophet (PBUH) gives us clear guidance on what to look for when we select our life partners. He says "A woman may be sought in marriage for one of four considerations; her wealth, beauty, social status or her strong faith. Choose the one with faith so that you may prosper". This is then the proper procedure. It is to make sure that the woman one selects to be the future mother of his children should be of faith who will encourage him in obeying Allah's commandments and keeping on the right path which earns him Allah's pleasure and who will impart to her children the meaning of fearing Allah and being always conscious of His presence. If you look at the four elements mentioned by the Prophet (PBUH), you will find that they combine all motives which a man may have to get married. He may give priority, when selecting his marriage partner, to wealth or beauty. Alternatively he may seek a high position or a distinguished social status. If his aim is one these, he will look for either a pretty or a rich woman, or one of good name. Whichever the factor he gives greater weight to, we should not overlook the fact that they all relate to this world and its priorities and considerations. The Prophet (PBUH) counsels us that none of these elements should be given priority. It is the woman with strong faith which should be preferred as a marriage partner. Such a wife helps her husband attain the greatest prize of all; Paradise. When we consider that, there is simply nothing to be compared with it.
Is a son allowed to make a marriage of his own choice, without his parents consent ? Answer: The role of parents in selecting a wife for their son is one of advice, not dictation. Allah has not given them the right to force their son to marry any particular woman. They may have reasons of their own for seeking to unite their son in marriage with a particular woman, but they must remember that it is he who will live with the woman and it is his happiness that is at stake. Hence, the choice must be his. They should not try to impose their will on him. Disobedience can only happen when the person who is being disobeyed enjoys the right to be obeyed. While parents must always be obeyed by their children, their relationship with their young children, cannot continue on the basis or orders and strict obedience. When the children come of age, the parents continue to enjoy the right to be honored and respected by their adult children, but they cannot always dictate to them in every aspect of their lives. If a son wants to marry a girl whom he knows to be religious and of strong faith and his parents oppose this marriage for reasons of their own, then he incurs no sin in going ahead with that marriage. He is acting on the Prophet's advice. while they are opposing him for reasons of their own. Their reasons cannot be as good as his, if he is choosing a woman of strong faith. Disobedience in this regard does not constitute undutifulness to parents.
How does Islam view love marriage ? Does Islam put any restriction on meeting before the actual marriage, or on letters or telephone conversation ? Answer: May I put this question back to you and ask again "What is love marriage" ? Is it a marital relationship recognized by society and official authorities ? Or is it a sentimental relationship which kindles a burning sensation of attraction to the beloved one and a desire to be united together ? Is it both or neither of them ? Sometimes, the term "love marriage" is used in certain societies to denote, what is otherwise known as "co-habitation" or "living with someone from the opposite sex". According to Islam, there is nothing called love marriage. There is a position called love and a contracted relationship comes into existence when a man and a woman who agree to be married in the presence of the woman's guardian and a minimum of two witnesses. When these conditions are meant, they bring about a relationship, useful and presumed to be permanent. No other relationship between a man and a woman who is not related to him is admissible from the Islamic point of view. It happen sometimes, that traditions take over and impose themselves on people giving them the impression that by following a certain tradition they are implementing Allah's legislation. It may be the case that traditions are totally different in what advocate from Islamic legislation. It is important that every Muslim should know his religion well. That enables him to maintain the Islamic path, doing only what pleases Allah, without depriving others of their rights, as outlined in Islam. It does happen at times that certain people are denied what Islam allows them under the pretext that Islam is better served by such a denial. This is a very perverse attitude and it can have far reaching consequences. Taking the example, the permission that Islam gives to future marriage partners to see each other before they are actually married. This may take place when the man has made clear his intention to marry that woman. The girl's family should make sure that he is serious about his proposal. Once that has been ascertained, he may pay her a visit and she, may appear before him like she appears before her brother. The purpose has been set clearly by the Prophet (PBUH). He told one of his companions to see his fiancé and let her see him. "It is more conducive to a better relationship being established between the two of you". It is important to realize that when Islam allows the boy and girl to see each other, before they are even engaged, the purpose is to give each of them a chance to assess to character of the other. Hence, whatever helps them in this regard, within the established rules of Islam, is permissible. Nothing of Islamic legislation be contravened under the pretext that the boy and girl want to know about each other. If they exchange letters, for example, then that correspondence is permissible. Similarly, for them to talk on the telephone is also allowed, provided that in both cases, they maintain their sense of propriety and do not allow the conversation or the correspondence to drift into something which does not befit Muslim young men and women. This is something that is allowed by Islam. Hence it does not need another permission, not even from parents. When parents disapprove of something that Islam has permitted, they exceed their limits. It is not proper for anyone, not even a parent, to deny a person what Islam has permitted him or her. When I say this, I am speaking of normal situations. It may happen, that the father starts to have second thoughts about the suitability of the fiancé and he may be considering to cancel the engagement of his daughter to him. This may be a valid reason or him to disallow any correspondence or telephone conversation between the two. He should however, make the position quite clear to his daughter. He should not appear to be using his authority arbitrarily. That does not serve the interests of family relationships. During the engagement and before the marriage contract is made, a woman may see her fiancé only in the presence of a relative of hers, whom she cannot marry, such as her father, brother or her uncle. If such a relative is present, then there is nothing wrong with the two of them meeting each other, either at home or in a public place. That relationship does not preclude that a passion may exist between the two partners. Nor does the existence of that passion effect the marital relationship in any way. That passion is judged on its own results. If it leads to anything that Islam has forbidden then it is forbidden. If it is limited to a mere feeling which does not lead to any forbidden practical results, then it is not sinful. Having said that, I must add that Islam does not encourage that such passions should exist before marriage or should be considered the basis of marriage. Islam encourages, on the other hand, the sort of love which comes after marriage as both man and wife face together what life may have in store for them. That love is much moire stable, deep and genuine. Moreover, it gives each of the two partners the chance to encourage the other to follow Allah's commands and abide by his laws. If love marriage is synonymous with cohabitation or living together, which means that a man and a woman share the same home and bedroom without going through the formal requirements of marriage, then their relationship is strictly forbidden because it is synonymous with fornication and adultery.
The significance of waiting period. What is the minimum waiting period for a woman who wishes to remarry? In the case of death of her husband or a divorce from her husband ? Answer: The latter part of this question shall be explained in detail later in this chapter during our discussion of divorce. Allah's wisdom has dictated that in the case of a man's death, the waiting period of his wife should extend at least for a certain number of days. For this reasons He has laid down that the waiting period lasts four months and two days. This applies to all women. To women who are young enough to have the period as well as to elderly women who have long eased to have it. Only in the case of pregnancy, the situation becomes different. The waiting period does not end until she has given birth to her child. In this case widows and divorcees are governed by the same rule. A divorced woman adheres a waiting period which extend to three menstruation periods or three periods of cleanliness from menstruation. If she does not have the period either because she is too old or too young, then her waiting period extends for three months. If she is pregnant, this does not end until she has given birth to her child. While the waiting period serves the purpose of cooling off and gives the estranged couple a chance to revise their situation in a totally new setting, that is not its only function. Its primary purpose is to establish for certain whether the divorced woman is pregnant or not. Islam is keen that every child should be claimed by his or her rightful parent. If a woman were able to marry within a few days of her divorce, the possibility of her being unaware that she is in the early days of her pregnancy by her first husband, cannot be ruled out. This opines the way for a child to be given to the wrong father while his rightful father is alive. To point out further a widow is allowed on the basis of a clear Quranic statement, to remain in her husband's home for one full year after his death. She may not be asked to leave by her late husband's family.
In Islam one is allowed to marry more than one wife. Is it true and if so why ? Answer: Referring to Almighty Allah's dictates "If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans. Marry women of your choice two, or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them); then only one, or (a captive) that your right hand posses. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice". (IV : 3). Yes, from the above we see that a Muslim man is allowed to marry up to 4 wives at any time. He is however, required to maintain a high standard of equality and treatment of his wives. Islam is a practical and positive system for human life. Which is consistent with human nature and with man's constitution, needs requirements and charging circumstances in all areas and generations. It is a system which deals with man as he is, and in the situation it finds him, elevating him to heights he can never achieve otherwise, without in any way denouncing his natural desires or suppressing his nature or overlooking his practical needs, and without pushing him violently or arbitrarily in the direction it wants him to move. Islam does not raise the specter of hollow idealism, or dreamy ******* which clashes with man's nature and the need of his practical life. It is a system which cares about man's morals and the purity of society. It does not allow a situation to exist which will inevitably lead to the weakening of moral values and corruption of society. It works for the creation of a social order which promotes moral values and the purity of society with minimum effort on the part the individual or the society. We have to keep all these essential qualities of the Islamic system in view when we look at the question of polygamy. We see firstly that there have always been many practical cases, in different societies, in the past and the present, where the number of women of marriageable age exceeds the number of men who may get married. It has never been known in the history such an imbalance which may effect certain societies has ever xceeded the ratio of four to one, except probably in Germany after world war II. It is always within that limit. How do we deal with this imbalance which happens from time to tie in different ratios and which cannot be overlooked. Do we simply shrug our shoulders and do nothing ? Do we leave it without treatment until it settles down according to whatever circumstances may attain. Shrugging our shoulders does not solve any problem. Leaving society to deal with such a situation at random is something no serious man who respects the human race would contemplate. An action must be taken and a system must be devised. Here we find ourselves facing three alternatives: i) Each man who is suitable to marry, marries one woman of marriageable age. Therefore, one woman or more, according to the ratio of imbalance, will inevitably remain without marriage, going through their lives without ever knowing a man. ii) Everyman who can marry, marries one woman in a healthy legitimate relationship. He, then,, has an affair or short term relationship with one or more of the women who do not have legitimate male partners. In this way, these unmarried women get to know men in an illegitimate and hypocritical way. iii) Men who can marry, or some of them, get to marry more than one wife. In this way, the second woman gets to know a man as an honorable wife in broad day light, not as a mistress or as an occasional partner in an illegitimate relationship practiced under the cover of darkness. The first alternative clashes with human nature and places a great burden on the woman which is made to go through life without ever having a man. This is a fact which cannot be ignored on the basis of idealistic claims that when a woman works and earns her living, she does not need a man. The need goes much deeper than what such superficial, ignorant people think. No job and no high income can replace a woman's natural need to live normally and to satisfy her physical urge as well as her essential and spiritual needs to have a companion with whom to share her life. A man works and earns his living but that is not enough for him. He, therefore, seeks a partner and companion. Man and women are alike in this regard, because they descend from a single soul. The second alternative is in sharp conflict with Islam, the religion of purity and with Islamic society which is based on serious morality and with woman's human dignity Those who do not care when immorality spreads in society are the very people who boast that they know better than Allah and mpudently criticize Allah's law because there is no one to stop them. Indeed they find every encouragement and help from those who are keen on understanding this religion of Islam. It is the third alternative which Islam adopts as qualified concession to face a situation which cannot be dealt with by shrugging one's shoulders or hollow idealism. Such a choice is in keeping with Islam's serious and practical approach in dealing with man as he is taking full account of his changing circumstances. It is this approach which fits in perfectly with the importance Islam gives to decency, purity and morality as it tries to elevate to its great height with ease. We see secondly in all human societies, ancient and modern, past, present and future, another real problem which cannot be denied or ignored. The period of man's fertility extends to the age of 70 or goes even above that. In the case of women fertility ends at around the age of 50. This means that there are an average 20 years of fertility in the woman's case. There is no doubt that one of the purpose of joining the two different sexes in marriage is to promote life through ***** and to build the earth through the increase in population. It does not fit with this natural situation to prevent humanity from making use of the increased period of fertility in man. What fits with this practical situation is that a legislation which is applicable to all societies in all ages should provide this concession, not as something obligatory but as a provision through which a practical situation can be met and by which human life can benefit when necessary. This balancing between human nature as it is and the purpose of legislation is always noticeable in the divine law, while it is generally absent in man-made laws. Left to himself, man cannot take into account all details, and cannot look at situation from all angles and cannot provide for all essentiality.
Is it necessary for a man who wants to marry a second wife to obtain the consent of his first wife ? If the answer is yes, does this mean that he cannot marry his second wife unless the first one consents ? Answer: It is not necessary for a man to obtain his first wife's consent in order to marry a second time. Very few women would voluntarily consent to share their husbands with other wives. To make this legislation conditional on such a consent is to make it more or less un-operational. Islam is a practical religion and would only legislation what is practical. Hence, it does not make a condition which makes extremely difficult what it wants to be easy and practical. Some people suggest that to allow a man to marry again without the consent of his first wife is rather unjust. After all she is the first and she is called upon to relinquish part of what is her right without being consulted in the matter. Although all Muslim women know that their husbands are allowed to marry up to four wives at a time, no women thinks of that possibility until it actually happens. When it does happen, it inevitably comes as a great shock and is bound to upset the first wife greatly. Islam allows polygamy as a solution for social problems which produce effects on the moral standards of a society, unless a proper and practical solution is given for them. The Islamic method of polygamy provides such a solution. Islam, however, does not forget the first wife and the effects on her of her husband marrying another woman. In addition to make it obligatory on only man who marries more than one wife to treat his wives on an absolutely equal basis. Islam gives the first wife the right to get a divorce if she feels it impossible for her to share her husband with another woman. An Islamic court will grant any application for divorce made by any woman in such circumstances, when she is divorced, she is entitled to all her rights of any deferred dowry or maintenance, and Islamic legislation provides for her. She is not punished for applying for divorce. We need to remember here that Islam looks after the woman in the same way as it looks after the man. According to Islam, both are equally important, and each one of them can expect and should receive what is rightfully his or hers. |